I have been “omitting” the fact that I never graduated college for quite some time now. Hell, I don’t even know if I got a solid year’s worth of college education in me. I dropped out twice from a fashion college – TWICE.
That truth has haunted me for longer than I dare to admit. In my mind, I lead with that. I can’t possibly run a successful business because I don’t have the education to back it up. I can’t possibly be the Editor-in-Chief of the “Best Lifestyle Blog of 2016” because I’ve never worked in media before. I can’t. But I guess I can, because I am.
When the girls of Houghton (a ready-to-wear meets bridal brand) approached me about being featured in their Houghton Girl short — a film that was conceived from the designer’s own battle with an eating disorder and whose goal is to unmask the notion that we’re all superwomen — my mind immediately started to race. What will I open up about? Will it be about my relationship with my dad? Will it be about my constant search for my mother’s approval? It then dawned on me: the biggest approval I’ve been in search of is my own. As I sit here and introduce the following film that has almost acted as therapy, I’m crying into my keyboard. I’m in no way, shape or form the super confident person I lead with. I have insecurities that haunt me… they chase me with every decision I make. This film allowed me to explore the root of my insecurities — the incessant need to receive validation from others — and for that, I’m eternally grateful.
Cheers to celebrating our lows as much as our highs. This is by no means my whole story. But it’s a start.
My 1 minute clip…
The full short: Houghton Girls, a film by Whooden, directed by Garen Barsegian. Featuring powerhouses Katharine Polk, Jenné Lombardo, Chloe Norgaard, Lisa Salzer aka Lulu Frost, Morgan Kibby, Kelly Francis, Dara Hart, Keyla Castillo, Bianca Vesco, and of course, yours truly.
And the collection, in which we all contributed to the design process, modeled by the Houghton girls…
A huge thank you to Katharine Polk and Kate Seigel for letting me confront my issues and for allowing me to be a part of such a special project. It’s because of people like you that I keep chasing my dreams.